So here's how this is going to work. I am going to ramble about a few different topics and they may seem disjointed at times because there's a lot going on right now and I haven't written in a while. So rather than keep up with singular deep thoughts, I shall rant about several of them at once. Try to keep up with the insanity, ok? Ok.
First of all, I'll start with a discussion of change management. One of my classes at PSU is over now (an accelerated semester) and it finished with briefings from local executives, and even a visit from former Borders CEO, Mike Edwards. It was awesome and I noted a few different themes in each discussion and had lots of opportunities to ask questions. It was great.
Each discussion included one common theme from my point of view--change management. Each leader discussed the importance of leading effectively during times of change whether that be growth or downsizing...whatever. Ok, so I look at this two different ways, right? First, there's the idea that you have to be able to adapt as a leader and come up with a plan. Right? Right. As someone who has other depending on you, it is important to roll with it, go with the flow, whatever. So this stood out to me because I admittedly have an issue adapting to change. I don't like it. It's scary but also amazing and I tend to have to be shoved into it before I realize...wow...I've changed so much and this is kind of awesome. So I like it once I get used to it.
But here's the other thing that one of the presenters said and it seemed so loud to me when he said it, I could have sworn it was meant directly for me. I, as the org. comm. scholar in the middle of a sea of MBA's (God bless 'em) asked a follow-up question about the role organizational culture played during difficult mergers and acquisitions. Obviously, adjusting to a new culture would be challenging for everyone involved, especially the smaller org that is being "acquired" and has to do a lot of the changing. He said something that at first sounded cold, but that I later understood. He said that with one particular situation, the VP of Marketing and the VP of HR spent most of the year making presentations to new and old staff explaining vision and goals and easing everyone into the change. Now, while this isn't a guaranteed method of making sure employees adjust to the change, they went out of their way to ensure the transition was as smooth as possible for the employees. He said that after several months and lots of question asking, most employees were comfortable or even excited about the situation. However, a select few remained upset, indignant and refused to take advantage of the resources offered. Now, while I'm sure I could make an argument here about the evils of corporate power/control and back it up with the research of Mumby and Deetz, I want to stay focused on the fact that despite efforts to reduce uncertainty, these employees remained resistant to change. Eventually, he said that if, after lots of time, people are still resistant to change, they need to be 'let go.' Change within organizations is obviously inevitable and while it can be negative at times, it's going to happen. If, after efforts are made to make the transition as seamless as possible and employees are not taking advantage of resources offered, it's time to get them off the track and make sure that the people you have on board are just that--on board.
You with me?
Either way, ok. I realize at this point, I'm starting to sound like a geeky grad student. So at first I thought, oh wow...that's a great point--I have to get with it and stop being resistant to change because change is inevitable. But then I thought something else. If people are still resistant to change after time has gone by, multiple sources of information and resources have been offered and people are still resistant to change, they need to be 'let go.'
They need to be 'let go.'
Suddenly, this became a statement that pertained to my friends, my support system. If people can't adjust to the change, they need to go.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's time to cut my losses. If there's access to information about the org change, and if there are even resources offered to help people deal with the org change, and people still aren't (if not on board) at least kind of ok with the change, it's time to let them go.
Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightbulb.
The close ex family member who ignored me for most of the year and said a couple of weeks ago (after I iniated communication)"oh, I've just been digesting what's gone on this year so that's why I've been quiet so um...yeah, we should do coffee sometime and talk about what's gone on? Cool? "
Not so much, genius. You missed it. That would be like an employee saying it is time to deal with org change ten years after a merger has occurred. It's too late by that time. It's way too late.
When change happens in your life or someone else's, roll with it, seek information, buck the system--or get out. Don't just sit there. That's not an option. I won't let that be an option for my 'friends.' The people who have been on the phone going, 'What's up? Can we talk? What do you need? What the heck is going on?" those are the people who are proactively dealing with change...not the ones who ignore me and don't say anything.
So brilliant revelation during a discussion on change management...onto the next topic...
Stories. I was told by a brilliant little pixie that, despite my arguments, there is a difference between what is and what I think is. So, yes, while I am a constructivist to some degree and hold to structuration theory (believing that often people's perception of reality defines their actions, which directly influence reality), this is true.
There is. And there's what I think there is.
So holding on to what I THOUGHT I HAD is very different to holding onto what I ACTUALLY HAD. If that's true, how do I have a hard time letting go of it? What I thought my relationship was was not what it actually was. I need to accept that and reject the story, the projection I have of it in my mind. That's a big part of the process I think--defining what was real and what wasn't.
Does what happened still suck? Absolutely. But at least I can logically say...wow...well, that isn't what I thought it was. It's time to get over it and it makes that process a little easier. Understanding the difference between reality and stories is a very important part of this process. So while this may seem all common sense to the lot of you, it was news to me and it was a good understanding to finally come to. I don't want what I had because it wasn't real. What I thought I had wasn't real. It's time to be done and thankful that it's finally over and thankful that I was able to escape the reality of what it was! I want something more than that, right?! I want something more than that that is REAL and isn't just one sided, right?!
Right.
I also think that sometimes the worst things that happen to people often show them the most truth, and change them the most. I am changing now into a person I never thought I could be and I am finally accepting of that and happy and it's a very good place to be. It's been an interesting calendar year for me. LOL Things started happening late last fall, culminating with the divorce filing in February and I'm approaching the end of this year and I see so much positive change and improvement...very different to the differences I saw in myself at the beginning of this whole process.
I have never looked so forward to celebrating New Year's, but may I just say that this year I am thrilled to do so.
justkatie
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