Good evening (or good morning, rather), Friends~
More honest thoughts to share with you. I hope you'll be encouraged.
I'm excited to say that on a quick whim, I'm attending my first concert in Portland tomorrow evening. I am kind of excited. One of the reasons I was excited to move here (and closer to Seattle) was because I would be able to attend more concerts. I love music and have been waiting to see someone I like. After finding out Wednesday that Foster the People were here WEDNESDAY, and subsequently that tickets had sold out days before, I was rather miffed. I felt robbed of the chance to see my new favoritePumped Up Kicks. Determined to be undaunted by the frustration at missing that song live in my new city, I began looking at upcoming concert calendars for the area and was shocked when I found the artist booked for this Saturday evening at a lovely, small, rather eclectic theater in town. Priscilla Ahn.
You can learn more about her here:http://priscillaahn.com/bio/
She is relatively unknown. But she and her music are of very special significance to me. I came across her station on Pandora earlier this spring when I was going through what I call my 'dark days in Pullman.' There have been lots of rough days this year, but I usually reserve the collective term dark for this spring. I began listening to several of the songs on her 2008 album, A Good Day.
I found them both calming and inspiring. I remember exactly where I was some days when I listened to them. I remeber it was snowing as I was walking to teach and feeling like there was hope. I couldn't feel it or see it, but felt like I was being told there was hope. I remember listening to her music in the WSU gym while I was doing one of my two daily LISS sessions. I remember listening to it when I was doing homework at coffee shops with Bunbury late, late at night in Moscow. I remember listening to it as I drove to school in the dark, icy, early mornings.
I've posted the lyrics from her song, Dream, SEVERAL times before because of the profound impact it had on me.
"I was a little girl
Alone in my little world
Who dreamed of a little home for me
I played pretend between the trees
And fed my houseguests bark and leaves
And laughed in my pretty bed of green
I had a dream
That I could fly
From the highest swing
I had a dream
Long walks in the dark
Through woods grown behind the park
I asked God who I'm supposed to be
The stars smiled down at me
God answered in silent reverie
I said a prayer and fell asleep
I had a dream
That I could fly
From the highest tree
I had a dream
oooo....
Now I'm old and feeling gray
I don't know what's left to say
About this life I'm willing to leave
I lived it full, I lived it well
As many tales I live to tell
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now
To fly from the highest wing
I had a dream."
I remember wherever I was when I was listening to this song in particular, I would cry softly.
Sometimes I would be wiping tears from my eyes as I walked into the gym or across campus or as I was walking in to teach my wonderful students who brought me so much joy last spring. Often, they were the only people who could make me smile. I sometimes wonder how many days I would have gone without smiling, had it not been for that wonderful Tues/Thurs class. God used them to love me in ways they will never even know. Sometimes I didn't even know why I was crying. Some part of me knew that even though it had all just started, my life was about to drastically change and for the first time ever, I-Katie-the-control-freak, could do nothing to stop it.
The song gave me perspective and hope and I loved that none of my friends even knew who the artist was. It was like I'd stumbled upon a secret, something given just to me as a beacon of light during those dark days.
Now, she's in Portland and I only found out about it a couple of days ago. Would I have been more excited for Coldplay or Michael Buble or Taylor Swift or U2? Probably so.
But somehow this seems perfect.
Here's the other thing. She will be singing songs from her new album, as well as a few of her old ones, I'm hoping. But the link I provided here will tell you about her new album. Let me just tell you what it's called:
"When You Grow Up"
How perfect is that? It's kind of amazing to me. I don't know if you will all get the magnitude of this. But in my little life, her songs, first of all, then the fact that she's here and I found out just in time, and the fact that the theme of her new album fits this year perfectly--that all speaks to me. I'm amazed and I know that I'm being encouraged and I love it.
Here's a short excerpt, in case you didn't check out the link:
"Growth emerges as the central theme of Priscilla Ahn’s album When You Grow Up...Ahn wrote or co-wrote all but one of the album’s songs, threading a loose storyline through life’s ups and downs, her angelic voice narrating the experiences through which we grow...In a way, it was mischievous for Ahn to name her album When You Grow Up. After all, nobody stops growing until the day they exit this mortal coil. We find and lose love, meet new friends, visit different places, and add to our skill sets. Our emotions become more complex. We establish patterns, then break them for a much-needed change of pace. 'The other day I was reading some old blogs of mine, from five or six years ago...These songs happened in a period of my life where I re-discovered, or discovered for the first time, different parts of who I am.'' s. The young woman in that prose was almost unrecognizable. Back then, she was still discovering her voice as an artist, struggling to articulate emotions, even as basic necessities—like food and shelter—were often up-in-the-air. 'My life was so different compared to how it is now.' But good things emerged from that turbulence."
So there you have it. I'm kind of excited and just thought I would share some late night thoughts. It's another really cool step in the journey. There have been lots this year...strings of little events that somehow all became tied together that were stunning. Some were big deals. Some, like this, weren't, but the way they happened was kind of amazing.
It's the little things you have to recognize in life that bring hope that inspire you todream...or keep dreaming if you've stopped.
Goodnight, or as my Thai friends would say, 'Good Dream.'
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